I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
