Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
