are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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