I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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