Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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