Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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