I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
