I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
