He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
