I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize