I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
