Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
