I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
