so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
