Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I believe in your delicious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
