hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
