could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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