Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
