my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
