IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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