next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We were destined to go to rehab together
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
