Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
