Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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