I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can Purell be used as lube?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
