I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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