Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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