party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
