Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
