thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
