new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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