it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
