I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
