bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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