Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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