Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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