oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
