Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
