I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
