that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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