dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
