I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
