I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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