Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.

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(361): View more from Texas

I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake

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(518): View more from New York

plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!

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(954): View more from Florida

She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

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(956): View more from Texas

he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls

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(812): View more from Indiana

May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?

(1-812): View more from Indiana

Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!

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