I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
