Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
