If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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