I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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