Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
