You just made me feel so damn special
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
