She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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