He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
