people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
