She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
