My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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