He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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