Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i came on her dog
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
