In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
