Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
