there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
