I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
